Look At Me: A Portrait of The Artist as An Insecure Man

By Chris Knight

Rating: B+

There’s a scene near the end of Look at Me in which the main character, an insecure actor named Taylor, describes to his new therapist the “porcupine dilemma.” It’s the idea that there are people who can’t get close to others because their emotional quills cause too much pain. Taylor considers himself a porcupine.

In fact, he’s more of a porcupine-cheetah crossbreed. He runs toward intimacy with people he barely knows, which often scares them away. And when they do let him get close, he’s liable to rip them apart — emotionally, that is.

Taylor is played by Taylor Olson, a Halifax-based filmmaker who also wrote and directed this “fictional autobiography,” as he calls it, based on his 2018 play Heavy. That title references the fact that his character is dealing with an eating disorder, one that manifests itself in fasting, bingeing, and sometimes working out.

Regardless, he is never happy with his body or himself, which makes it difficult for him to relate to others. His go-to social style is to speak quickly and haltingly in movie quotes and references, which loses its charm faster than you can say “On the Waterfront.”

But if the character is a wreck, the film comes together nicely as a portrayal of addiction — you could easily substitute alcohol or gambling into the story. After surviving a series of Tinder one-night stands, Taylor falls for a single-mom photographer (Stephanie MacDonald) and ends up moving in with her. It’s a stability he needs, but will he be able to make it work?

Olson has chosen to shoot the film mostly in black-and-white and in a variety of aspect ratios to mirror his character’s claustrophobic journey. They’re good choices — you don’t have to be intimately connected to the protagonist’s struggles to feel what he’s going though, and to root for him, sometimes despite himself.

Since I started this review with a scene near the end of the film, let me end at the beginning, when on-screen text warns that it includes scenes of “internalized fatphobia ... and a deeply insecure male protagonist, which some viewers may find disturbing.”

It’s a laudable trigger warning I guess, but if you’re going into the film mostly blind as I was, it may actually scan as a kind of a joke. “Deeply insecure male protagonist?” Have you seen Woody Allen’s older, funny movies?

Look at Me is a thought-provoking film that might want to end with a more-information website or helpline, but there’s no need to open on such a note. Disturbing? Sure. But also vital, lively, and extremely watchable.

Look at Me. Directed by Taylor Olson. Starring Taylor Olson and Stephanie MacDonald. In theatres February 7.