Gladiator II: Exciting, But Rome’s Far from The Truth (Gettit?)

By Chris Knight

Rating: A-

It would be fascinating to see what a storyteller in the vein of Ridley Scott would do with a tale set in this early 21st century but told a thousand years hence. I can imagine a saga in which Donald Trump defeats Richard Nixon, fakes the moon landing, and is then felled by an assassin’s bullet, with the shooter later revealed to be his own son.

That’s the kind of revisionist-ridonculous history Scott perpetrates in his movies, sending legions of fans scurrying to experts to learn that no, Napoleon did not fire a cannon at the Great Pyramid; and no, Emperor Commodus was not killed by an Australian gladiator named Maximus. And while we’re at it: No, the fourth planet does not have hurricane-strength dust storms as seen in The Martian.

But I’ll dispense with the factual griping henceforth — except wait! No, there were no sharks in the Colosseum. OK, now I’ll dispense with it, and focus on the entertainment value of Gladiator II, which is actually pretty solid, although nowhere near the Oscar-worthy original, which took home six trophies at the 2000 awards, including best picture.

This film is set some 16 years after the events of the first Gladiator. In that one, Joaquin Phoenix’s Commodus was bested in the Colosseum by Russell Crowe as Maximus, though not before he too was mortally wounded. In the chaos, Maximus’s young son Lucius was spirited away to safety in exile. Well, guess who’s back?

Lucius, now played by up-and-comer Paul Mescal (Aftersun, TV’s Normal People), is living as Hanno, a farmer and military reservist in Numidia, roughly where modern-day Algeria is. When the Roman navy attacks, his wife is killed, and he himself captured and made a slave. Back in Rome, he gains fame when he takes down a feral baboon in the Colosseum, going tooth-to-fang against his fellow primate.

This catches the eye of slave trader Macrinus (Denzel Washington in full Shakespearean villain mode), who takes him on as a gladiator. Lucius doesn’t want the job, but Macrinus offers him a chance to kill Acacias (Pedro Pascal), the reluctant Roman general who led the attack on Numidia but who would now just like to retire and take a holiday with his wife, Lucilla (Connie Nielsen), who is also Lucius’s mother. (A million people in 3rd-century Rome, yet everyone knows everyone.)

Rome has seen better days. Her current emperors are two mad brothers: Caracalla, played by Fred Hechinger — imagine Ed Sheeran crossed with Sid Vicious, but with the talents of neither — and Geta (Joseph Quinn). Though based on historical figures, they also look a little like some of the younger members of Britain’s royal family, except crazier and with even less melanin in their systems.

Mescal, on the other hand, cuts a fine figure as Lucius. He clearly bulked up for the role, and the hair and makeup department was obviously working overtime to give him what I believe the Romans referred to as “V o’clock shadow.” Not unlike his father, Maximus (who gets several shoutouts in flashback), his skill in the arena is matched only by his moral rectitude. He’s easy to root for, especially when set against the feckless twin emperors and the more toadying members of the Senate.

And while the beats of this new story may seem to hew a little close to the 2000 original, there’s enough novelty to keep one’s interest piqued. I quite liked Alexander Karim as Ravi, a sympathetic gladiator-turned-doctor who helps patch up Lucius. And sharks be damned, the prospect of watching a recreation of one of the Colosseum’s famed naval battles is thrilling. (And yes, those actually happened!)

The film is long, a shade under two and a half hours, but Scott knows how to pace things so they don’t drag. One could even imagine further stories of the fall and rise of Rome, though perhaps not from this director, who is nearing his 90th year.

But the Empire has centuries of history and dozens of emperors to plunder for drama. And as Scott has now shown twice, if you’re ever stuck for material, you can always just make something up.

Gladiator II. Directed by Ridley Scott. Starring Paul Mescal, Pedro Pascal, and Denzel Washington. In theatres November 22.