Rumours: No Need to Protest this Bizarre G7 Horror-Comedy

By Chris Knight

Rating: A-

In Rumours, a fictional story about a gathering of world leaders, the Canadian Prime Minister (Roy Dupuis) is a horn-dog with a failing marriage and beset by political and economic scandals. He’s facing parliamentary prorogation that will likely make this his last G7. Or to put that another way: Any resemblance to actual prime ministers is purely coincidental.

Or is it? There may be some odd grains of truth in this bizarre political-horror-comedy-drama from co-directors Guy Maddin and fellow Winnipeggers Evan and Galen Johnson. Like the fact that Canada was not present at the very first meeting (the one and only G6) in 1975. Or that Italian PMs tend to be on the short side.

World leaders pose for the camera, unaware of a pending apocalypse in Rumours.

But when a small-car-sized brain and several zombie bog people from the Iron Age appear in the woods near where the group is meeting — well, clearly we’ve left the realm of what passes for normalcy in these get-togethers. And that bar was already pretty low when you remember the 2019 gathering, when one leader bragged about being an environmentalist, lied about having trade talks with China, and called for Russia to be let back into the group.

The framework of the movie is that the seven leaders, played by Dupuis (Canada), Cate Blanchett (Germany), Nikki Amuka-Bird (Britain) and others have gathered in the woods near a German retreat to hammer out a provisional statement about the present crisis — no need for details since there always has been and forever will be a present crisis that demands a provisional statement.

However, before they can get cracking on this juggernaut announcement, it becomes apparent that their aides are nowhere to be found. In fact, the woods have gone eerily silent, except for some spooky howling that may or may not be human. When France (Denis Ménochet) goes looking for answers, he returns covered in mud, traumatized and babbling.

Rumours won’t go down well if you demand answers to every niggling question, like why America (Charles Dance) speaks with a British accent. Or why a giant brain suddenly appears in the forest, accompanied by a Swedish diplomat (Alicia Vikander) babbling about the end of the world.

But if you loosen your grip on the reins and just let the movie take you, there’s much sly humour to enjoy. I loved that the goodie bags handed out to the world leaders include a magazine with an article about the top six political speeches in history. (But Lincoln over Churchill? Tosh!)

And lest the content prove too existentially troubling, there’s also a cyanide pill, with instructions for use drawn up in the friendly style of an IKEA bookcase assembly manual.

Rumours feels (in the best way) like a film scripted by the satirist Armando Iannucci, based on something by Canadian horror writer Tony Burgess, and shot by the darkly comic filmmaker Ruben Östlund.

Or I guess you could say written by Britain, based on Canada and made in Sweden. Or just straight outta Winnipeg. However you define it, it’s globally good fun.

Rumours. Directed by Guy Maddin, Evan Johnson, and Galen Johnson. Starring Roy Dupuis, Cate Blanchett, and Nikki Amuka-Bird. Opens Oct. 18 in cinemas.