Godzilla vs. Kong: Like the WWE, enjoyably cartoonish with bigger behemoths and a serviceable story

By Jim Slotek

Rating: B

When we last saw the title reptile in 2019’s Godzilla: King of the Monsters, he was a certifiably good-Godzilla, having dispatched the world-threatening three-headed King Ghidorah.

But, like WWE wrestlers, these lumbering monsters known these days as “kaiju” can “turn heel” from movie to movie. So, it shouldn’t be a surprise to see the big lizard return to attacking cities again at the opening of the enjoyably cartoonish Godzilla vs. Kong – even a city as improbable a target as Sarasota, Fla.

(Still, it clearly puzzles the media, which you’d think would not be easily surprised at this point).

Meanwhile, back on Skull Island, Kong has figured out he’s living under a high-tech human constructed dome, designed to hide his existence from Godzilla - because as “the Kong Whisperer” Ilene (Rebecca Hall) says, “two alpha kaiju” can’t co-exist.

My fond childhood memories of the Toho guys-in-monster-suits notwithstanding, I’m not sure why Godzilla and Kong are considered the ultimate monster match-up. They are more akin to Batman vs. Superman. 

On the surface, it’s a mismatch. Batman can punch. Superman can fly so fast he goes back in time. Kong can punch (or whack you with a tree he pulls out of the ground). Godzilla, as we discover here, can blast atomic breath all the way to the center of the Earth (which is hollow, by the way). One belch should result in fried ape.

PROUDLY SUPPORTS ORIGINAL-CIN

And yet, director Adam Wingard stages these rumbles (in the ocean and in Hong Kong, literally surf and turf) with a destructive ferocity that suggests a toss-up.

Also, narratively speaking, this is Kong’s movie, partly because he is given a “voice.”  That is to say, Ilene’s adopted daughter Jia (Kaylee Hottle) is deaf, and has secretly taught the simian to “sign” over the years.

The hows and whys of these behemoths’ date with destruction almost seem like one big MacGuffin. Scientist Nathan Lind (Alexander Skarsgård) has figured out that Kong’s (and Godzilla’s) real home is “Hollow Earth,” the place below us that we thought was molten magma (stupid us). And it’s a source of great energy, maybe enough to stop Godzilla.

So, a brilliant plan is hatched to haul a tranquilized Kong by high-security barge to a “gateway” in Antarctica, there to lead everybody to you-know-where.

As for Sarasota, it turns out to be the home of an evil corporation called Apex Cybernetics, which is working on something evil. If nothing else, that plot turn gives us a couple of more interesting characters – an Apex employee/whistle-blower who runs a conspiracy blog (Brian Tyree Henry), and pro-Godzilla teen activist Madison (Stranger Things’ Millie Bobby Brown).

All of which is mere build-up for the destruction of a brilliantly candy-lit Hong Kong, which to return to wrestling terms, is the main event.

While stopping short of camp, and giving the movie all the visual aplomb it deserves, Godzilla vs. Kong isn’t ashamed of being light entertainment writ large. The dramatics are few, the quips just about right, and the booms are bombastic.

Godzilla vs. Kong. Directed by Adam Wingard. Starring Rebecca Hall, Alexander Skarsgård and Millie Bobby Brown. In available theatres and for rental via PVOD beginning on Wednesday, March 31.