SLAXX: Killer jeans, demonic denim, the sinister-hood of the traveling pants - whatever you call it, it's a hoot
By Thom Ernst
Rating: B
Director Elza Kephart’s SLAXX is a 70-minute sight-gag. But it’s also 70 minutes of creative kills and a decent dance number.
A shipment of killer jeans is unleashed upon the twenty-something staff of a trendy clothing store. Not killer jeans as in, “Those jeans are to die for” (which they are), but killer jeans that intentionally stalk and slaughter humans.
In SLAXX, clothes make the man… dead!
Too absurd? Maybe not.
In 2018, Peter Strickland directed In Fabric, a surprisingly artful horror about a killer dress. Previously, Strickland’s Berberian Sound Studio (2012) twisted the art of making sound effects for giallo movies (Italian mystery thrillers) into an occupational hazard. So is the idea of killer jeans all that bizarre?
Let's face it; horror knows no limits when attributing psychotic behaviour to inanimate objects. Killer dolls and puppets are a given, considering their resemblance to humans, and cars and trucks are not far off the mark given their mobility. Things do get weird when tomatoes, sofas, beds, and single radial tires go on a murder spree. But we are five installments deep into a franchise about sharks whipped into a feeding frenzy by rogue tornadoes. Next to that, killer jeans seem practically autobiographical.
PROUDLY SUPPORTS ORIGINAL-CIN
The action occurs in one store but for a brief back-story explaining the origin of the jeans' bad behaviour. It's an intriguing back-story, if only because of how shamelessly it exploits the idea of exploitation. Kephart’s efforts to add an element of social-awareness seem misplaced. Attempting to squeeze a message about sustainable products and humane working conditions into a movie like this, is like me attempting to squeeze into a pair of 32-inch waist Levis; No one needs to see it.
But Kephart’s efforts are mostly devoted to keeping SLAXX a giddy bit of confection suitably contrived to meet the standards of a midnight movie crowd. And though the movie is likely to evoke more smirks than screams, there are enough gruesome kills to satisfy horror fans, including one memorable death by zippers. Ouch.
The store is on lock-down—you guessed it, no one can get in or out—prepping for one of the company's most significant media events; the arrival of a shipment of Super Shapers, a one-size-clings-all jean that automatically adheres to its wearer's curves and bends. I'm not sure how that translates as flattering, but I'm hardly one to mince words over fashion logistics.
Everyone in the film strives to match the film's absurdity level, but only a few manage to achieve it. The best of them is Montreal actor Romane Denis who plays Libby. Libby seems to be the only character that springs from the real world. She is new to the store, eager to please both boss and colleagues, but struggles to find her place in this niche nest of jaded store clerks. Thankfully the playing field levels out when the jeans start offing some of the more intolerable co-workers.
Libby gravitates to Shruti (Sehar Bhojani), a cynical, stand-offish, closeted-Bollywood musical fan. Unlike Libby, Shruti doesn't buy into the store's banner-waving mother-earth branding. Eventually, the women find themselves the sole protectors against a blood-hungry horde of possessed jeans.
Brett Donahue as Craig sufficiently fulfills the role of persnickety, company man who collapses under pressure. (Were this film Aliens, Donahue would be Paul Reiser’s character).
SLAXX is tailor-made for anyone who has ever felt concerned for the mental state of the clothes they discard on the floor. For the rest of us who can abandon our wardrobe with no regard to its psychological well-being, SLAXX is a straight-off-the-rack farce.
SLAXX is directed by Elza Kephart and stars Romane Denis, Sehar Bhojani and Brett Donahue. SLAXX is available on various platforms including Google Play and iTunes starting March 23.