Paradise Cove: Movie of the Week-ish Thriller Not Thrilling (Movie of the Weak Maybe?)

By Thom Ernst

Rating: C

I imagine it's possible to enjoy Paradise Cove.

Going in with low expectations is a good start. Accepting the film's dated approach to demonizing the less fortunate helps. Relinquishing any hopes of credibility in plot or character is essential. Manage that, and Paradise Cove might have a campy, if not tawdry, appeal.

Otherwise, sitting through Paradise Cove is a tough slog.

I wanted to appreciate Paradise Cove as a homage to 1970s television's Movie of the Week, the kind of vehicle that might have starred Suzanne Somers and Elizabeth Montgomery playing against type.

But any deference Paradise Cove might have to 1970s television is by default rather than design despite coming through on everything that made 70s-era MOTW so satisfying: A generic young couple looking for a fresh start, the subtle infiltration of a growing threat, a handful of disposable side-characters, and an adored family pet to which it's best not to get too attached.

But arguing the film's merits on the grounds that it plays to lesser expectations is the kind of back-handed defense that can be used to explain away the movie's flagrant disregard for homelessness, mental health, and privilege. Viewers are required to sidestep these issues before they can—in at least a semblance of good conscience—root for the good guys.

The good guys are Tracey (Mena Suvari) and Knox (Todd Grinnell). Yes, Knox is a legitimate name. Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie named their kid Knox. It's Scottish. I looked it up. But still. Knox?

PROUDLY SUPPORTS ORIGINAL-CIN

Knox and Tracey inherit a Malibu waterfront beach house in the coveted Paradise Cove. The house is livable despite severe damage left by a fire that killed Knox's mother. Knox plans to rebuild, sell, and live happily ever after on the profit. Tracey's along for the ride, but her focus is getting pregnant.

The couple has gone through several failed IVF treatments. The doctor suggests the problem might be stress. She prescribes Tracey to take it easy. So, Tracey kicks back in a burnt-out beach house during renovations.

But no one needs to rely on the premise of a tepid Movie-of-the-Weak to know that renovations rarely go to plan. The city refuses to issue a building permit based on a minor technicality. The neighbours aren't keen on Knox breaking a tradition of keeping waterfront properties in the family. But permits and snooty neighbours are the least of their worries.

And that brings us to the movie's villain: Bree (Kristin Bauer van Straten).

Bree owned the beach house until someone took it from her. (It seems Knox's mother was something of a con artist). So now Bree squats underneath the house, refusing to leave. Given those same circumstances, it's hard to say if I wouldn't do the same.

To the community, Bree is a harmless eccentric who has fallen on hard times. To Knox and Tracey, she's a terrifying threat to their health and their investment. And to a few unfortunates, Bree is someone willing to making quick use of the claw end of a hammer.

But despite the broad characters and the story's freewheeling use of logic, the movie is surprisingly void of any tension. Without committing to the kitsch of 70s television movies or going full-on Fatal Attraction, Paradise Cove teeters on the precipice of something that might have been good.

At its core, Paradise Cove is a renovations thriller. And like renovations, once you begin taking down walls and peeling away the layers, you risk exposing a structurally unsound foundation.

What could have been a guilty pleasure is just guilty. But it’s worth noting that Paradise Cove does have the best—and only—renovation joke I have ever heard.

Click HERE to watch Bonnie Laufer’s video Q&A with Paradise Cove co-star Todd Grinnell.

Paradise Cove. Directed by Martin Guigui. Starring Mena Suvari, Todd Grinnell, and Kristin Bauer van Straten. Available on demand beginning February 12.