This Game’s Called Murder: Ridiculous Thriller Packed With Ideas, Few of them Good
By Thom Ernst
Rating: C-
Buried in the ramblings of murder, greed, and the Dionysus-level of excess in Adam Sherman's This Game's Called Murder are gems of talent.
But uncovering them is like trying to complete a scavenger hunt without the list of items. And the effort put into every moment on screen is as obvious as an unsolicited email from a Nigerian Prince and just about as legitimate.
It's as if every idea that crosses Sherman's mind makes it to the screen. If Sherman really wants to send shivers down spines, perhaps he might consider releasing a list of ideas deemed too much to make the cut.
This Game's Called Murder is far more film than it needs to be. It is wrought with excessive direction, pointedly off-beat performances, and over-scripted dialogue. Even the sets and costumes have the exaggerated weight of a page full of exclamation marks.
It's like a good meal ruined by overeating.
It's a shame considering an opening scene full of promise—a meditative soliloquy read over shots of a colour-changing sea. That scene switches to scantily clad women shooting stilettos from a canon at a chiseled-body pretty boy wearing nothing but a speedo and red spiked heels. The end product is a sculpted bloody corpse surrounded by strategically placed footwear. Death by stilettos, which would have been a far-better title.
For the next 100 minutes, the film races through a litany of allegories. I assume they are allegorical and have something to do with the evil of commerce and the perversion of beauty. But I can't be sure. Still, there has to be some meaning behind the glamourized violence and the nifty razor-edged one-liners delivered by giggling psycho-babes and unassuming henchmen who walk in synchronized steps.
This Game's Called Murder has two name stars, Ron Perlman and Natasha Henstridge. Neither of whose careers has leveled off so much as to have to do this material without being predisposed to some unforeseen obligation. If it's a debt settled out of kindness or gratitude, then it's a debt overpaid
Perlman stars as Wallendorf, a fashion industry icon whose sole product—or so he claims—is a signature brand of stilettos. They only come in red. Henstridge is his wife, who sees herself as a guiding light to a grateful harem who fall to their knees proclaiming her greatness.
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The husband-and-wife team up like a pair of maniacally absurd Adam West-era Batman villains, each with their dedicated band of disciples. Together they turn glorified images of sex and violence into a hugely successful marketing campaign. But while the sex is inconsequential, the violence is actual.
But Mr. and Mrs. Wallendorf have produced more than just footwear; they also have a daughter, Jennifer Wallendorf. But like so many offspring who've grown tired of the adopted pet names given them by their parents (Jennifer's name was Pumpkin).
Jennifer has distanced herself from the family brand but not because she is any less psychotic. In Jennifer's case, blood might be thicker than daughter, for as much she attempts to put a wedge between her and her folks, Jennifer is unmistakably her Daddy's girl.
Jennifer is played by Vanessa Marano, who talks like she's on the verge of doing a Fran Dreschler imitation. Jennifer has a habit of drinking quarts of whiskey in record time and sniffing angel dust with the local bad girls, a vicious female version of Peter Pan's Lost Boys.
Jennifer is in love with Cane (James Lastovic) because This Game's Called Murder is also a romance. Cane runs a local underground club frequented by the freaks and chics of the alter-verse in-crowd who embody everything from Harley Quinn sassiness to apocalypse chic.
The movie gets some reprieve from Tyler Steelman's performance as Stew, the hapless bartender routinely tormented by the patrons. Stew is just about the only redeemable character in the film. Because of that, Steelman is one of few performers to come out unscathed.
This Game's Called Murder relies too heavily on being clever, edgy, outrageous, and crass. It's meant to be an affront, and in being so, laud its superiority over the heads of the easily offended. But for all that is crammed into the movie's allotted time.
This Game's Called Murder is a whole lot of film with nothing to show and a whole lot of dialogue with nothing to say.
This Game's Called Murder. Directed by Adam Sherman. Starring Ron Perlman, Natasha Henstridge, Vanessa Marano, James Lastovic, and Tyler Steelman. Now available on VOD and digital platforms.