Think Like a Dog: Overly busy kidflick is a bit of a bow-wow, but you will say, 'Awww'
By Jim Slotek
Rating: C-plus
Dogs talk in movies for all kinds of reasons, though in real life they communicate their entire vocabulary very well without words. “Take me out, I’ve got to go” – “You want to play?” – “I like you” - “I’m hungry” - “THERE’S SOMEONE AT THE DOOR!!!”
In movies, well, our tendency to anthropomorphise has given us philosophical dogs with the inner voice of Kevin Costner, intimations of immortality and other existential thoughts (last year’s The Art of Racing in the Rain).
Sophie (Madison Horcher) and Oliver (Gabriel Bateman) bond over their mutts in Think Like a Dog.
And it’s also given us smart-alec dogs voiced by the likes of Norm Macdonald (the Doctor Dolittle movies) - and by L.A.-based improv performer Todd Stashwick, who’s the voice of Henry, the scruff-faced co-star of Think Like a Dog, a serviceable kids’ movie from Lionsgate that plays like it lost its way on route to Disney.
Henry’s thoughts are accidentally accessed by his human, schoolkid Oliver (an amiable Gabriel Bateman), as part of a science project. And it turns out, all this time, Henry was capable of fart jokes, poop jokes, sniffing butt jokes, and throwaway references to James Bond and Freaky Friday.
Moreover, all this time, dogs could talk to each other. Without making a sound. Which means they’re telepathic and could have “talked” to us all along.
None of this nitpicking will matter to Think Like a Dog’s demographic, which seems to be under nine. Talking dogs, fart jokes and Henry’s adversities in school with bullies and with his crush on a girl named Sophie (Madison Horcher) will all play well with the kids.
Too bad Think Like a Dog serves two masters – its audience and its Chinese producers. Like a zillion other products of Hollywood’s romance with the Chinese box office, this is a movie that MUST shift its focus to Asia and include scenes of people speaking Mandarin.
Which means Think Like a Dog could have been a grounded story of a boy and his dog, figuring out life together and plotting to keep Oliver’s parents (Josh Duhamel and Megan Fox) from getting a divorce. That’s story enough.
Instead, an unscrupulous hi-tech billionaire named Mills (The Big Bang Theory’s Kunal Nayyar, basically playing Raj with an edge) witnesses Henry’s invention as the celebrity guest at a school science fair and plots to acquire it. Henry’s big break-through comes courtesy of his pal Xiao (Neo Hooo), who hacks an orbiting super-computer to access enough data-crunch and thereby attracts the attention of international security. Henry and Xiao share no scenes on camera, but became friends via virtual reality gaming.
Soon, there are more characters in play than adults can keep track of, let alone kids. And writer/director Gil Junger has enough on his hands playing traffic cop for this unnecessarily busy kidflick.
Happily, there are always dogs. And adorable ones at that. The dogs-save-the-day climax features the least threatening attack pack that was ever sic’ed on anybody, aimed at eliciting giggles rather than fear.
Say what you will about this movie, at some point you will say, “Awww.”
Think Like a Dog. Written and directed by Gil Junger. Starring Gabriel Batemen, Josh Duhamel and Megan Fox. Now available through Digital, On Demand, and Blu-ray!