DogMan: Luc Besson’s Movie Should Stop Trying to Make Fetch Happen

By Liz Braun

Rating: C+

DogMan is kind of an idiotic movie built on a ludicrous premise. This does not prevent it from being eminently watchable.

Caleb Landry Jones stars as Douglas in this super-weird outing about a sensitive outcast and the band of dogs he calls his friends. And flat mates. And work colleagues.

DogMan begins with a quote from Alphonse de Lamartine: “Wherever there is an unfortunate, God sends a dog.” How unfortunate Douglas is may be understood by the fact God has sent him dozens of canine companions.

We meet Douglas at the wheel of a van full of dogs, dressed as Marilyn Monroe (Douglas, not the dogs) and badly beaten up. The story then leaps to a female psychiatrist (Jojo T. Gibbs, here bringing the gravitas) whose job it is to figure out this strange, battered, Marilyn Monroe-dressing dog person and perhaps discover why there are so many dead bodies at his home.

Douglas proves to have had intense trauma in childhood. In a flashback we learn that his cruel father raises dogs for dog fights; dad eventually throws dog-loving Doug into the pen with the canines and leaves him there to rot. Neglect and violence lead to the day Douglas is permanently in a wheelchair.

But there’s a silver lining! While living among the dogs, Douglas learns to train the animals to do his bidding. He is eventually found and rescued by police and finishes up his childhood in a series of group homes.

As an adult, Douglas is a recluse who lives among his many dogs and helps people in his Detroit neighbourhood by acting as a kind of enforcer.

For example, someone asks Douglas if he can help stop a local criminal from shaking down shop owners. Next thing you know, one of Douglas’ loyal dogs has clamped his teeth shut on the bad guys’ crotch, opening the door to this sort of dialogue: “Stop extorting her or my dog gobbles your gonads.”

Douglas falls in love with an acting teacher, a minor subplot that goes nowhere, but it does set up a scene in which he reads Shakespeare to all his dogs. That’s the kind of bizarre but somehow endearing moment DogMan has on offer.

In another plot development that doesn’t seem to lead anywhere, Douglas joins a drag troupe and wows the crowd with his performance as Edith Piaf.

Later, he trains his dogs to enter the homes of the rich to steal jewelry and other valuables. Even later, his clever dogs get creative to help Douglas kill a pack of villains who turn up at his house seeking revenge — think Die Hard, with kibble.

Caleb Landry Jones puts in a really interesting performance here, inhabiting an odd space that hovers between a hard-earned state of grace and quiet menace. His singular talent keeps a viewer invested.

DogMan was written and directed by French filmmaker Luc Besson (of The Fifth Element and La Femme Nikita fame). You’d have to ask him what it all means. No! Down!

DogMan. Written and directed by Luc Besson. Starring Caleb Landry Jones, Jojo T. Gibbs, Christopher Denham, and Grace Palma. In theatres April 5 in Toronto, Halifax, Vancouver, Victoria, Calgary, Winnipeg.